


The Curse of the Moon

by ShadowsDaughter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Age Swap, Big Brother Sam, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Hurt Dean Winchester, John Winchester Being an Asshole, Little Brother Dean, M/M, Protective Sam Winchester, Suicidal Thoughts, Werewolves, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-21 03:04:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3675045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowsDaughter/pseuds/ShadowsDaughter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam has been enjoying himself at Stanford when one night his father comes back into his life, pounding at his door in the middle of the night. He comes with news that rips the ground out from underneath Sam: Dean is missing. Sam rushes off with his father to find his little brother, worried on what could have happened and angry that his father let Dean go off on his own. But when they find something, it only raises the stakes: Dean is going to kill himself because he believes he was bitten by a werewolf. It's a race against the clock to find and save his brother, and to let him know he still loves him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. If it was the last thing he did..

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! Here's another fic from me. I love age swapping where Sam is the older brother and I don't feel like there are enough fics out there with that so I figured, why not write one? This is a Wincest pairing so beware of that and if you want to read more Wincest by me, check out my other multi-chap fic "The Progidy". This story will have some light suicidal themes to it but only in the next two chapters. I'd love to hear what you all think of this!

Sam Winchester was awakened by a loud pounding on his apartment door. He groaned and rubbed a hand over his face, wondering who the hell was knocking on his door at…. 3:36 AM. He got out of bed and left his bedroom only to see his roommate Jessica standing there, looking towards the door with sleepy, nervous eyes. 

“I got this, Jess. You go back to bed.” Sam smiled down at her and Jessica frowned at him.

“No. I’ll come with you.” She shook her head, making her blonde curly hair swing around her face. 

“Sam!” He heard a very familiar voice yell out and it made his muscles freeze for a second before relaxing. 

“Sam?” Jessica murmured and Sam shrugged.

“It sounds like my dad, you go back to bed.” He waved back to her open door. 

“Fine… but I’ll wait up,” Jessica warned before turning and going back to her room, not closing it all the way but leaving a crack. 

Sam sighed and made his way to the door, running a hand through his shaggy hair. He unlocked the door, the sounds making the knocking stop, and he swung open the door to see his father standing there, frowning. John Winchester didn’t look much different than he last saw him four years ago. Maybe more frown lines and grey hair but he still had that steely look in his eyes and a proud posture. 

“Dad.” Sam raised his eyebrows. 

“Sam.” John nodded back.

It was quiet for a moment before Sam sighed.

“Why are you here, Dad? You told me I wasn’t a part of the family anymore,” Sam said calmly and was surprised to see his father flinch and what seemed like regret pass over his face before it went blank again. 

“I need your help,” John stated. It was easy to tell it was hard for him to get the words out.

“I don’t hunt anymore. You know that. Why don’t you just have Dean help you out?” Sam asked but then paused and glanced around. Where was Dean? Why wasn’t he with John? 

“Where’s Dean?” Sam couldn’t help but ask. Why wasn’t his little brother with their father? He was only just 18.

“That’s what I need your help with, Sam,” John sighed and Sam frowned, not understanding. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Dean… He’s gone missing.” 

Sam paled drastically and he swore he felt his heart stop beating for a second. 

“What?” He choked out and John ran a hand down his face in a move that reminded Sam of Dean. 

“He was hunting a werewolf and never checked back in with me.” 

“You let him hunt alone?” Sam felt rage build in him and he wanted to deck his father in the face but only just held the doorknob so tight it started to hurt. 

“He’s been hunting alone for a year or two now.” John shrugged and Sam couldn’t help but let out sound of shock. 

“Why hasn’t he been in school? Why hasn’t he been with you!?” Sam growled out and John glared at him.

“You left us, boy. Otherwise he wouldn’t have been alone.” A jab of guilt hit Sam in the stomach but he didn’t let it show on his face. Screw his father. He shouldn’t have let Dean go out alone. “And he has his GED.”

“You…” Sam stopped himself and turned away. 

“Are you going to help me?” John asked, sounding as if he figured the answer would be no. 

Well, _fuck_ his father.

“Of course I am,” Sam shot back and glared at his father. “I’ll be out in fifteen, packed and ready.” 

John nodded once before spinning around and walking away. Sam slammed the door shut to let some of his anger out before the fear that had been building exploded and he slid to the floor until his legs were stretched out in front of him and his head rested on the door. 

“Dean…” Sam chocked out as tears filled his eyes. 

When Sam had told his father about wanting to go to Stanford, his father had exploded and told him if he left to never come back. That he wasn’t a part of the family anymore. And Dean... Dean he had tried to mediate like he always did when his big brother and father fought but this time it did nothing to help. Sam could see how blind-sided Dean had been by the announcement and it hurt Sam to see Dean hurt. Sam had tried to make up for it by offering Dean a place with him but John had stepped up saying Dean couldn’t leave because he was a minor and he actually cared about their father. Dean wouldn’t meet his eyes when Sam packed his things and walked out. 

That was the last time he saw his brother.

Of course Sam called to check in on him, but he never got a response. Sometimes he’d get a text saying something along the lines of: _I’m alive. No need to worry. Enjoy school._ Dean wouldn’t even text Sam back when he tried that. It was frustrating and it hurt but Sam understood. His brother felt abandoned. 

A few months before Sam left, the two brothers had their first kiss and some more but not much. Sam didn’t want to push Dean. He was young. And in those months, he had truly fallen in love with his brother and he knew Dean fell for him, too. Sam had made promises of them being together forever whenever Dean expressed doubts and then he had shot them all out the window by leaving. 

“Sam?” Jessica’s voice pulled him from his thoughts and he looked up through blurry eyes. He was crying. When did he start crying?

“Dean…” He managed to get out and Jessica kneeled at his side.

“What about Dean, Sam?” Jessica asked, her blue eyes worried. Jessica knew everything. It had all come out one night while he was very drunk. She had been shocked and little grossed out at first but over the two years of their friendship and being roommates, she accepted it. 

“He’s missing, Jess.” Sam’s voice wobbled a bit and Jessica frowned at the news, her hand coming to rest on her best friend’s leg. 

“What are you going to do?” She asked and he swallowed.

“I’m going with my dad to help look for him.” 

Jessica nodded before taking a deep breath.

“Right. Then let’s get you packed and on the road,” Jessica said and grabbed his hands as she stood. He managed to get to his feet with her help before she fixed him in a stern look. “But you keep me updated and if you need my help, you let me know. Okay?” 

“Thanks, Jess.” Sam smiled down at her. If he hadn’t been in love with his brother, he probably could have loved her. 

“Of course. Now you need to find your brother.” 

That, he did. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Two days later Sam and John were in a small town in Wisconsin. They were dressed in suits, pretending to be FBI agents and Sam couldn’t help but feel silly in the cheap, monkey suit. 

There was only one motel in the town and so they went there first. Sam looked for the Impala but didn’t see it. It had shocked him to see his father in a truck and John had explained that he had given the Impala to Dean for his 16th birthday. Sam felt another twinge of guilt. He had just texted Dean. What kind of brother was he? 

The two walked into the check-in of the motel and the old guy reading a book behind the desk didn’t notice them until Sam cleared his throat. 

“Can I help you gents?” The old man smiled kindly and Sam returned it where his father just nodded and pulled out his badge. Sam sighed but followed suit.

“I’m Agent Burnes and this is Agent Simmons. We’re looking for a man who would have been here a few weeks ago—“

“You mean Dean Bishop?” The guy interrupted and the two Winchesters exchanged a look before nodding. 

“Yeah, about 6’1”, pretty muscled, short blonde hair and green eyes.” Sam’s eyes widened at John’s description. When did Dean get so tall? 

“Yuppers. That’s him. He left here about a week ago. Was in a bad way, that kid.” 

“What do you mean?” Sam frowned, leaning forward. 

“Well,” the man sighed and ran a hand down his beard, “As I’m sure you know there’s been some killings going on around here and Agent Bishop was the one to take down the animal that did it, burned the body and everything.” Again, the two “Agents” exchanged looks. Definitely Dean.

“So he was injured?” John interrupted and the guy shrugged. 

“He had his arm wrapped up, yeah. But that’s not what I meant. He drank himself silly for a day or two straight, had to help him myself to get back into his room.” Sam frowned at that.

“Do you know why?” Sam asked and the man raised his eyebrows at the two.

“Do you guys not read the report?” he asked and Sam cleared his throat as John stepped forward.

“We were on a different case and were just told to come here to look for Agent Bishop, not given much details,” John stated in his gruff tone that had Sam sighing. He wished his father wasn’t such an ass but that was his dad. 

“Ah. Well, he wasn’t able to save the animal’s last victims. It was the Franklin family. Both Jerry and Beth were killed along with their baby boy.” The man sighed with sad eyes.  
Sam felt a lump form in his throat. No wonder Dean was so upset. That was a huge loss. And Dean always put any and all blame on his shoulders. 

“And… and when did he leave exactly?” John asked in a softer tone. He was probably thinking the same thing. 

“He left six days ago. In the middle of the night, left his phone, too. If you guys want that?” The man asked and Sam frowned more. Why would Dean leave like that without his phone? 

Concern and fear was pounding through his veins. Dean was running. But why? Where? He wanted to find his little brother, hold him in his arms and never let go. When they found him, he was going to force Dean to come back with him. He had fucked up enough. He needed to fix things. Make things right.

“That’d be great…” John trailed off and the man made a sound of surprise and got to his feet.

“Daniel Jones.” He nodded and then went over to a filing cabinet to pull out a plastic bag that had more than just a phone in it. “He had left some other random things so I just put them all in here. Figured he’d show back up for them.” 

“Well, thank you, Mr. Jones. We appreciate your help,” Sam smiled as he grabbed the bag from the man. He was pushing down the urge to dig in the bag. See what was there. 

“No problem. But I hafta ask… is he gone MIA or something?” Daniel asked and John cleared his throat.

“Yes sir, and it makes sense now why. Thank you.” John nodded before walking out. Sam followed after thanking Daniel Jones himself. 

They both got in the car and drove for a while before pulling off into parking lot of a diner. Sam pulled out two notebooks, Dean’s phone and a pack of pencils and colored pencils. Dean drew? Since when? John was silent, watching as Sam pulled all those things out. Sam tried the phone but it was dead and tossed it on the seat before opening one of the notebooks to see some notes about the case but he froze when he flipped open a new page.

There were tear marks all over the page and some words were written and scratched out. All he could make out were:

_I’m sorry..._  
..Tried to..  
Full moon...  
...Sammy  
Let me go..  
...I’ll handle it. 

“I don’t get it.” Sam muttered and handed it to his father who frowned and looked at it closely. Sam went to the next notebook and opened it to find random drawings of people, cars, other random scenes and they were good. Sam was pretty impressed. He went to the next picture to only freeze. It was like looking in a mirror. Dean had drawn him, his face, and the detail was stunning.

“Well, shit,” John swore making Sam jump and look over to see John clenching the notebook in his hands and he could swear he saw a tear in his father’s eye.

“Dad?” Sam asked in a soft voice.

“Dean… he… Fuck!” John growled and slammed a hand onto the steering wheel. Fear was clouding Sam’s senses. What did John figure out? What was wrong with Dean? Was he okay? 

“What is it?” Sam asked, part of him not wanting to know. 

“I think he was bit by the werewolf and is worried he might turn.” 

“What?” Sam’s voice was soft but full of emotion. _No_. Not Dean.

“I think he’s going to off himself before the next full moon,” John muttered in a thick voice and Sam shook his head immediately. 

“No… Dad, we can’t let him!” Sam yelled out and John’s shoulder’s slumped. 

“Sam…” 

“Oh, hell no! You are not going to let him do this on the chance that he might be a werewolf!”

“If he is, though…” 

“I don’t care! We’ll figure something out! He is your son!” Sam yelled and John sighed.

“I don’t like it, Sam, but—“

“You haven’t changed a bit. A monster’s a monster, right?” Sam asked bitterly before getting out of the truck, the notepad still in his hand and he went to the bed to grab his bag. 

“What are you doing?” John asked, getting out of the truck.

“I’m going to find Dean and help him. Not let him kill himself.” Sam spat out. “Just go. Go hunt something. If I manage to find him I’ll call you.” Sam then turned and walked into the diner, ignoring his father’s look that screamed that there was nothing else to do. He would find and save his brother if it was the last thing he did.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! 
> 
> Here's another chapter. I hope you like it! I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Sam was getting worried. The full moon was in a week and a half and he still couldn’t find Dean. He had no idea where his brother would go but he wasn’t going to give up. Never.   
When he had called Jessica to let her know he was going to be gone for another few weeks, she had reminded him of his interview for law school but Sam couldn’t find it in himself to care about that. If he lost Dean, nothing would matter. She had offered to meet him and help but Sam said no. This was a supernatural matter and he didn’t want her to know about all the darkness in the world. Plus, he wanted to be the one to find Dean. 

His father had left as soon as Sam had entered that diner and Sam hadn’t heard from him since. He had used money he had saved up to buy an older car from a kind old woman then was on the road. He couldn’t afford to get caught with a stolen car so a crappy car was his only option. He was currently sweeping through another small town in Illinois and anger was finally making its way through him. How could Dean not call him to say goodbye or anything? How could he even consider killing himself? 

Sam decided to stay in the town and was pulling in the parking lot when he screeched to a stop. There was the Impala. He’d recognize it anywhere. He shook himself before whipping into a parking spot and sprinting to the check-in office, flashing his fake badge to find out which room was Dean's. In a minute he was knocking on the door of Room 8.

“Go away!” The familiar sound of Dean’s voice had Sam slouching in relief but he ignored his brother’s words and pounded harder. He could hear Dean cursing before the door was whipped open. 

“Sam?” Dean mumbled with wide, bloodshot eyes. Sam’s eyes swept Dean’s body and he was shocked at what he found. His brother was only a few inches shorter than him, was more muscled than he thought his brother could be but he looked sick which had Sam frowning in worry. He looked like he needed some sleep and a burger or two or ten. “Sammy?” Dean repeated his name and Sam blinked before meeting Dean’s green eyes. God, he had missed those.

“Dean,” Sam murmured before he stepped forward to sweep his brother into his arms, curling so he could rest his head on Dean’s shoulder. 

“Sam,” Dean repeated his name but this time in a sob before collapsing into his brother’s arms, his sobs taking over him. After a few minutes, Sam kicked the door closed with his foot and slowly but surely got his brother onto the bed. Sam leaned back against the headboard and his brother just curled in his chest, creating a wet spot on Sam’s shirt, but he didn’t care. He was just happy he had found Dean in time. 

When he had calmed down, Dean looked up at Sam with a frown. 

“Why are you here?” Dean asked in a rough voice.

“Dad came to me when you didn’t check in with him,” Sam said and Dean winced.

“Yeah. Figured he’d be pretty pissed ‘bout that. It was part of our deal for me to hunt on my own. I was to check in every day with him.” Dean sighed. “How did you find me?” 

“Pure luck. I was stopping to get a room for the night and saw the Impala.” 

“Oh.” Dean pulled away from Sam and while Sam wanted to tug Dean back into his arms, he wasn’t sure Dean would like that so he let his little brother slide away a bit, not meeting Sam’s eyes like he did when he was young and knew he was going to get yelled at. “So you know.” 

“Dean… why would you run off and say you were going to kill yourself?” Sam asked, his eyes misting over a little bit. What if he had been too late?

“I didn’t want Dad to have to kill his own son. Is that so bad?” Dean asked, folding in on himself. There was a lost look on his face and it made him look his age. 

“No. But you could have at least told him… or me,” Sam whispered and Dean snorted, rising from the bed.

“You left me, big brother. Not your responsibility anymore.” Dean’s voice was deeper now that he was getting mad and despite himself, Sam was a little turned on by his brother’s rougher voice. God, he was so fucked up in the head. 

“You’re always my responsibility. Comes with being a big brother,” Sam retorted, his tears gone. 

“Right.” Dean shook his head and walked over to fridge in the motel to grab a beer. 

“You shouldn’t be drinking,” Sam sighed and Dean laughed loudly, but it was dry without a touch of humor.

“Why not? I’ma die soon anyway. Why not enjoy my last few days as I want?” Dean retorted and Sam was off the bed, in his face in seconds. 

“You are not going to kill yourself,” Sam growled and Dean’s eyebrow’s raised. 

“You gonna do it for me?” 

“No! You are not going to die, Dean!” Sam yelled and Dean pushed Sam away.

“I’m a werewolf, Sam. I know you haven’t been hunting but I’m sure you remember that once I hit the full moon I’ll be craving human hearts and be a savage killer. I’ll be a monster.” Dean grinned at him, but Sam could see the pain in his eyes. 

“Dean—“

“Look, you should just leave. You don’t need to wait to see if I am a werewolf or not.” Dean rolled his shoulders and took a long drag from his beer. 

“Wait, so you aren’t sure?” Sam demanded and Dean shrugged.

“Why does it matter?” Dean asked and Sam slapped the beer out of Dean’s hand before he could take another drink. The bottle fell to the floor, creating a mess but neither really noticed. They were focused on each other. 

“What do you mean, why does it matter?” Sam yelled.

“Because even if I’m not, you’ll just leave again!” Dean yelled back and Sam froze, staring at Dean with wide eyes who just turned away.

“I’m not going to—“

“Yeah, like I haven’t heard that before,” Dean shot back and Sam winced. 

“Dean, I made a mistake. I’ve tried to fix things, but you never call me back! Never answer my calls!” 

“You wanted out of this life so I figured I’d make things simple for you.” Dean shrugged. His attitude was pissing Sam off and he wanted to smack it out of Dean. Or kiss him. Whichever worked. 

“What do you mean?” 

He needed to stay calmer. He was the mature one, the older one. Plus, Dean was actually talking to him. 

“I don’t see myself doing anything but hunting. I actually enjoy it and if we’d have kept in contact, you wouldn’t have gotten the clean break you wanted. You’d always be worried and wanting to know what was happening. You wouldn’t actually be free of this life, Sam. So, I just… figured I’d help you get the normal you wanted.” 

Sam was stunned into silence. He knew Dean was right. He had valid points and he obviously knew his older brother well. Part of his silence was also because he felt bad. He was the older brother. He should’ve been the one to make sacrifices so Dean could be happy.

“W-what about what you wanted?” Sam whispered and Dean sighed. 

“You being happy is what I wanted-want. And being at Stanford is what makes you happy. Not living this life is what makes you happy.” 

“When did you grow up?” Sam said and Dean chuckled but it wasn’t angry sounding. “We could have worked something out—“

“Could have. Should have. Maybe. Who knows?” Dean muttered and sat down on the bed. “Doesn’t matter now, Sammy.” 

“Y-you said you aren’t sure, right?” Sam asked and Dean sighed but nodded. “Then we’ll figure it out together,” Sam said and Dean looked up surprised. 

“What?” 

“I’m not leaving you, Dean. I’m here no matter what happens.”

“What about school?” Dean asked, surprise clear on his face. 

“You’re more important.”

“Sam—“

“No, Dean. I’m here now and I’m here to stay. So get used to it,” Sam said and sat next to Dean. 

It was quiet for a few minutes before Dean cleared his throat.

“So… how’s Jessica?” Dean asked and Sam looked at him surprised.

“How do you know—“

“I checked in on you a few times once I got the Impala.” Dean shrugged and Sam frowned. 

“Why didn’t you come see me? Talk to me?” 

“Was going to but then saw you with her and realized you were happy, getting an apple pie life started so I stayed hidden, asked around a bit but kept to the shadows.” 

Sam could only stare at his brother. He was hurt to put it mildly and he also felt stupid for never noticing Dean. 

“Dean, you know Jess and I ne—“

“I don’t want to hear about your love life, Sam,” Dean said stiffly, rising to his feet, walking away but Sam was right there, pulling him back around.

“Dean, there is no love life. Me and Jess may have gone on a few dates but nothing more. Especially once she found out about you.” 

“What?” Dean blinked.

“Uh, well, we were at a party and I was pretty drunk and missing you so I blabbed about us to Jess.” Sam shifted back and forth on his feet. “She was shocked and stuff at first but she accepted it and we became really good friends, but nothing more.” 

“What?” Dean repeated, blinking slowly, continuously.

“Dean, there’s never been anyone but you,” Sam said and brought his hands up to cup Dean’s face who didn’t make a move to get out of Sam’s hands. “You’re the only I’ve ever loved and will ever love.” 

Dean’s eyes focused on Sam’s.

“You still…?” 

“Yeah, Dean. I still love you. Never stopped,” Sam whispered and tears filled Dean’s eyes. A tear ran down his cheek and Sam slowly leaned forward kiss it. Dean started to tremble but didn’t back away as Sam trailed soft kisses down his cheek and jaw before doing the same to the other side. “Please tell me you love me still. It would break my heart if you didn’t.” 

“Never stopped either, Sammy,” Dean whispered and Sam grinned causing Dean’s breath to hitch and Sam’s smile softened. 

“Good,” Sam said and Dean swallowed.

“Yeah.” 

Sam and Dean stared at each other for a few minutes before Sam leaned forward and softly kissed Dean, barely brushing his lips against his younger brother’s. Dean let out a sigh before reaching up to yank Sam to him by pulling on his shirt and leaned up to crash his lips into Sam’s. The kiss quickly became heated, teeth clicking, tongues battling, breaths becoming gasps. 

But after a bit, Sam slowed the kiss down until they were just staring each other in the eyes, resting their foreheads against the other. 

At the moment, nothing more needed to be said.

~~~~~~~~~

Sam awoke to someone whimpering and slowly opened his eyes to see an unfamiliar room. But then a body brushed against his side and he looked over to see Dean tossing in his sleep, his eyebrows drawn down and a frown on his lips. The sounds were coming from Dean. Sam rolled onto his side and brushed a hand down Dean’s face.

“Dean, wake up. Dean!” 

But his younger brother continued to toss and make sounds of distress. One his arms flew up over his head making his t-shirt ride up and Sam froze when he saw a long scar on his stomach. Where had that come from? When? Sam swallowed and shook his brother harshly. Dean awoke with a gasp and Sam ducked back away from the swinging arms. 

“S’mmy?” 

“Yeah, Dean,” Sam nodded and pulled his brother into his arms. Dean didn’t resist. In fact, he cuddled into Sam’s chest with a shaky sigh that worried Sam. “You wanna talk about it?”

“No.” Dean’s tone was firm and had Sam swallowing but nodding. He didn’t want to push Dean too much now that they were reunited. 

They were both quiet and Sam could see the sun rising through the blinds on the windows. He tightened his arms around Dean as he thought about the scar on his brother. 

“Dean? Where is the scar on your stomach from?” Sam couldn’t help but ask. 

“Um…” Dean stiffened in his arms and then shrugged. “Doesn’t matter.” 

“It obviously does matter, Dean. How did it happen?” 

Dean didn’t answer right away and Sam sighed. His brother had been stubborn since he could talk.

“Wendigo. A few months after you left,” Dean finally said and Sam’s breath left him in a woosh. 

“Were you by yourself?” 

“What? No. Dad was with me. He had told me not to leave the protection circle, but wendigo’s are smart. I thought it had another victim so I ran out but it was the wendigo making the sounds and I was taken.” That was so Dean, running off to save someone even if it meant him being hurt. “Took Dad a while to find me. By then it had killed the last victim besides me.”

A shudder ran down Sam’s spine. If their father had been any later, then Dean wouldn’t be there in his arms. He tightened his embrace. He didn’t want Dean to leave his arms. Ever.

“The scar is from the wendigo grabbing me when Dad found me. Dad shot it with a flare gun of all things,” Dean snorted a bit, “and it lit right up. Dad rushed me to a hospital since the cut was so deep, and then I was put at Bobby’s for a while until I was healed up then I went back to hunting with Dad.” 

“Jesus, Dean,” Sam sighed and shook his head. He would be Dean’s back up. He was stupid to think he could actually live a real life after growing up the way he did. Plus, he wouldn’t be able to leave Dean again. It was an impossible idea. How could he possibly do it for real? He couldn’t. 

“It’s whatever,” Dean shrugged and Sam rolled his eyes. “I hate wendigos.” 

Sam snorted and kissed the top of Dean’s head. Definitely would never leave him again.


End file.
